Is My SO Cursed Tarot Reading

After doing a reading to see if I am cursed I decided I should do one to see if my significant other (SO) is cursed. Looking into this is important to me because my reading on myself turned up a big "maybe" and pointed to people I can't identify. I thought maybe we would have some cards in common and that would help me identify who is involved.

My SO's reading looks like this:

If you read my post about whether I am cursed then you already know a little about how to read this spread. Of not, you can go read the the first part of it for a quick explanation of go to the Hoodoo sight for the original instructions.

This particular reading short and sweet, though, and you can get away with knowing one simple aspect of how to read this spread. All you need is how to determine if you are, are not, or might be cursed. The answer to that question hinges on where XV The Devil falls when you lay out the cards.If it falls in the top three cards, then yes you are cursed. If it falls in the bottom three cards then no you are not cursed. If It's one of the two cards across the middle of the spread then you may or may not be cursed. 

Notice that XV The Devil is one of the bottom three cards. Thus, my SO is not cursed. It's a bitter-sweet conclusion. I'm glad no curse has settled on my SO. I'm glad that we do not each have a curse acting in our lives and combining to become some more dreadful. I am sad that any curse that impacts our lives comes specifically from me.

Am I Cursed Tarot Reading

I am desperate. I need to figure out this curse that I swear keeps influencing my life. If I was all alone, a hermit, I might throw my hands up and say screw it. I'm not alone, though. I can't go live under a bridge because I refuse to drag my family and friends there. I've pulled enough people through more than enough of the mud and muck that fills so much of my life.

I explained how I feel and presented the evidence that I am cursed to a friend recently. She suggested a little divination. She offered to do a reading for me but I feel like I need to do a reading for myself. My friend loves me very much and I am concerned that she might pull some punches and not share the intensity of some of what she sees. Also, I can consider the cards at a level of intimacy that she is incapable of simply because she cannot crawl inside my brain and heart. Of course, that provides her with an objectivity that I am incapable of achieving because I cannot crawl out of my head and heart. I might still take her up on her offer to read for me for that reason.

I did a little research and found a spread that looks like it will be helpful. The original spread and full instructions are at the Texas Hoodoo website (http://texas-hoodoo.com/divination/jinxed-curse-hexed-spread).

Basic Layout

  

Position 1 is the far left, XV The Devil in my spread.

Position 8 is the far right, the Knight of Wands.

Positions 2, 3, and 4 wrap clockwise over the top of the spread - the Page of Swords, the Knight of Pentacles, and the King of Swords.

Positions 5, 6, and 7 wrap counter clockwise across the bottom three cards - III The Empress, the Queen of Swords, and IV The Emperor.

Yes, No, Maybe

According to the directions, where XV The Devil lands in the spread determines whether I am cursed, I might be cursed, or I'm not cursed. Finding XV The Devil among the top three cards indicates a "yes, you're definitely cursed." If XV The Devil is one of the bottom three cards it indicates "no, you're definitely not cursed." When in the far left or far right position, the indication is "maybe you are and maybe you aren't."

Unfortunately for me, my reading fails to provide a clear yes or no answer. The spread tells me "maybe." My situation is more complicated than a simple yes or no can provide. This tells me that a dreadful force is acting in my life but so is a force acting to my benefit, which sounds about right for someone living with bipolar disorder. After all, the cycles of up and down bring cycles of creativity and destruction with them.

Who

The spread also provides a little information about who is working against me and who is working for me. The top of the spread is the "yes" side so the people suggested in those cards are the ones working against me, possibly the person who initiated the curse. The bottom cards provide information about who is working with me and in opposition to the curse.

Specifically, positions 2 and 3, the Page of Swords and the Knight of Pentacle, reveal who is working with the curse while positions 6 and 7, the Queen of Swords and IV The Emperor, reveal who is working against it. I just have no idea at the moment who these cards represent.

Interesting Observations

III The Empress and IV The Emperor sit opposite one another, symetrically positioned across the bottom of the spread in the set of cards that represents the people helping me. According to the spread's instructions, III The Empress does not represent someone that's helping me but she is looking out at me. She sees me and knows my plight. IV The Emperor appears initially to be looking forward, at me or at his subjects, but he's actually looking out of the corners of his eyes at III The Empress. He's looking to her for guidance. He cannot do his job alone. Considering these things and the closeness of their relationship, I would say that IV The Emperor is helping me with careful attention to the guidance and advice of III The Empress.  I have one final observation about III The Empress and IV The Emperor. Aside from XV The Devil who represents the curse itself, they are the only Major Arcana cards in the spread. They are the heavy hitters and, fortunately, they are on my side.

The location of all the Sword cards is notable, too. They create a "V" through the middle of the spread.

The women in the spread appear only in the bottom. The Page may be a boy or a girl but will be a youth either way and can not be a mature woman.

No cards from the suite of Cups are present.

Back to Who

Intuition plays a role in reading tarot cards and it led me to impression that IV The Emperor represents a Greek God. Which one, though? These cards are not created around the Greek pantheon so I went in search of a deck that is. I found The Mythic Tarot. Matching my cards to the corresponding card in the Mythic Tarot deck indicated that IV The Emperor represents Zeus and III The Empress represents Demeter, both of whom I have strong connections to. The correlations rang true. I am certain that they are on my side in this.

The remaining cards, being Court cards and not Major Arcana cards, leads me to the conclusion that they represent regular people. Other than that, who they represent still eludes me.

Feeling Cursed

The human brain tends to remember the negative experiences of life. I'm pretty sure it's an evolutionary trait that helped us survive by reminding us of things, places, activities, etc that put us in unhealthy or dangerous situations. It's a good idea that, at least in my case, has gone awry. It acts with an intensity that can be paralyzing.

The negatives cling to me like parasites and leave little to no room for positives. I have a terrible time finding the positives and, when I do, keeping the positives in mind is just as hard. It adds up to feeling like I'm cursed. The extent of that cursed feeling waxes and wanes with my moods. Recognizing that correlation to my mood has been helpful in the sense that I'm better equipped to wait out the feeling but it does nothing the reduce the pain, anxiety, and sense of helplessness that comes along with it. Family and friends criticize me for being pessimistic or defeatist. Saying things like, "It could be worse," is not helpful. I continue to feel what I feel and a certain guilt for feeling that way is added to the emotional burden I already carry.

The other day, a valuable lesson I learned in a class I took a million years ago popped into my head. The context of the original lesson was completely different from my current situation so I never thought to use it in my battle against my curse before. The mind is resilient but that characteristic must be nurtured, it must be fed. Feeding it a diet primarily consisting of negatives kills it. It must be given plenty of positives. One positive for each negative is insufficient, though. It makes for a malnourished resiliency, one that's sick and leaves a person at risk of giving up. Because of this and the fact that critiquing each other was a significant part of the class, the teacher established an important rule. Before someone could offer up a criticism, they had to provide three compliments.

This provided me with a technique, a new weapon to wield against the darkness. I am forcing myself to find at least two positives that are directly related to the negative situation feeding the cursed feeling. A recent example is when the transmission went out on my vehicle. Positive 1) The vehicle rolled to a stop in a location safe from traffic and from being impounded. Positive 2) Someone near and dear to me was willing and able to tow it to the shop for me.

My curse is a little more intense than that. It involves a large number of things going wrong all in a small window of time. The transmission was just one of them. Looking at each problem, each thing that's gone wrong, and finding a couple of elements in each situation that worked to my advantage is time consuming. Hopefully it will be worth time.