F is for Failure

The Failure of the 7 of Disks: Failure’s Lessons

It’s painful, not just disappointing. With the rise of failure I experience the loss of hope and a loss of whatever it is that I hoped for. Look at the card. It’s dark and dead. The suppleness that exists when life moved through the plants is nowhere to be found. Instead, the branches and twigs are dry and brittle. All hope has fallen away, leaving a pain that cannot be avoided.

It happens, even though I hate it. When I am finally and completely wrapped in the decaying landscape of failure, all that exists with me is me. I come face to face with my own failings, weaknesses, and mistakes. I hate it and "it" is me. I must recognize the darkness in the place where failure lives as my own self. Without recognition, I cannot ever fully emerge from that place.

It’s not the end, but that’s hard to swallow. I don’t want to be happy about it or throw my hands up and say, “Oh, well.” Matter-of-fact is probably a good attitude to have. Failure is painful and dark enough without allowing myself to sink into misery. I can clean up after failure. Pull up the dead plants, brush away all the dead leaves, and move forward. It’s not failure that keeps the hurt and dark around me. It’s the depression. Failure does not want me to live with it. It’s depression that wants you to stay in that place where failure lives.

For more information about the 2013 Blogging from A to Z Challenge see the website of the same name.
For more information about National Poetry Writing Month go to the NaPoWriMo website.